With the dim light just visible at the end of the tunnel, I can now write about this tRump Shutdown unhindered by the worry that was growing with every passing day. The stress started slowly then creeped into almost every thought.

Like every government worker, we missed two paychecks. My husband works for the Department of Justice and is considered “essential”, meaning he was not allowed to miss work during the furlough. You can imagine that his morale decreased each day as he was forced to work without pay. With every other shutdown, he’d always been paid after the fact but that is not guaranteed. And, it was especially not guaranteed with this particularly petty administration.

With each day, I’d wonder how we could save another few cents. We didn’t eat out, we bought minimal groceries, and I turned out lights. I didn’t resort to a cheaper brand of toilet paper but I certainly became very aware of how quickly we go though a roll. My paycheck, always just extra income, became a lifeline as our savings took a hit. I worked extra hours at my job to hold us over.

Humiliatingly, we approached our lenders, hat in hand, to ask for assistance with the bills that don’t stop, shutdown or not. Thankfully, we met very little resistance. I guess those big corporations can afford a skipped payment or two. But, what about my small dry cleaner, who lost 4 weeks of our dry cleaning business or the corner restaurant we couldn’t visit? The mortgage company will get their payment eventually but those small businesses lost income they won’t get back.

Admittedly, we are better off than most, but that doesn’t mean it didn’t affect us. To hear tRump’s daughter-in-law say that missing a paycheck was a “pain” worth the greater good was absolutely enraging. To see memos suggesting furloughed workers hold yard sales or take out small loans to make ends meet was astonishingly out of touch. I half expected them to suggest that we offer a hand job for a tank of gas.

As a parent, I couldn’t have been prouder that both of our kids asked us if we needed to borrow from their savings.

Simultaneously, as a parent, it was infuriating that we got so close to taking them up on their offer.

The shutdown has ended

… for three weeks.

In three weeks, this may very well start again. In fact, I wouldn’t be at all surprised if it did. For that, I am beyond angry at the disconnected government who sees nothing wrong with using human beings as pawns in their political game that serves only to fill their own (and their rich donors) pockets. Politicians have nothing to lose while We the People have everything to lose.