I’m not going to get all preachy and describe what I learned from each. Suffice it to say, the encounters, however brief, stuck with me all these years.

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~The kid I liked in elementary school who stuck his tongue out at me from across the playground when someone told him I liked him.

~My first real crush gave me a note, including the check ‘yes’ or ‘no’ option, asking if I’d be his girlfriend in the 6th grade. I said no because my big brother said he would kick his ass and I believed him. I spent the next 6 years watching him date other girls, including friends, hoping he’d ask me again but he never did.

~The cute new guy in junior high who every girl liked. He worked through each one with phone calls or by walking one to class for a day or two before moving on to the next. For some reason, that didn’t even bother me and I was just glad to have been included.

~My first real boyfriend who I chased  relentlessly until he finally asked me out. I can’t even tell you how long we dated but I do know it was over for me on the night he kissed me and said “I love you.” We had a trip to California planned for the next day and I just never called him again when we got back. Maybe we’re still dating?!

~The California transfer student who dressed too weirdly for Tucson so, of course, I was positively enthralled until he asked me out. That ended my infatuation almost immediately.

~The guy who was clearly gay but decided to lazily date me for a brief spell.

~The crush who somehow thought, in our very first moment alone, it was acceptable to unzip his pants, pull out his weenie, and pull my hand over — I’m not sure why he expected I’d comply but I was out of the car in a flash.

~The guy who told me that a woman who knew how to smoke was sexy and his future wife would smoke. Weirdly, we dated a little longer after that even though I didn’t, nor would I ever, smoke. He tolerated my not smoking but drew the line when I accidentally backed my car into his.

~The older, good-looking neighbor who asked me out after years of only seeing me as my brother’s little sister. I was stupid enough to feel flattered. My brother, again, put an immediate stop to those plans because he clearly knew his friend better that I did. This time, my brother was right, bullet dodged!

~The handsome and ultra charming guy whom I absolutely adored. I was clearly dating him but he was not dating me. It was humiliating to find out he was actually dating his girlfriend. Later, he was my emergency date for my 21st birthday when I dumped the asshole I dated after Paris.

~The asshole I dated after Paris.

~The dick who got no further than a phone call when he told me that his mother wouldn’t like him dating a Mexican.

~The older Air Force pilot.

~The army brat who thought he was being seductive by kissing my neck during a card game with all his friends. He must have thought I’d take his hand and lead him to the other room like they do in the movies. I didn’t. Oh, and that one ended immediately when he shushed me when he got a call from his girlfriend back home.

~The military guy I liked until I realized I liked his friend better. Then, the sweet friend who didn’t survive my guilt and the long distance.

~The guy who broke up with me over a prank played by some mean girls one New Year’s Eve. That one stung the worst and I still hate the smell of Drakkar because of him.

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It’s too predictable to say that being jerked around made me the badass I am today because, while writing this out, it is clear that I was already a badass. Though they mishandled my tender heart, I guess I come off as pretty heartless too. I didn’t mean to be. I just wasn’t ready for some of the stuff they expected of me. I am proud of knowing my limits and of being strong enough to stand up for myself even if maybe I did it in a hurtful way.