When we last lived here for five years, I managed to miss the cherry blossoms every single year. Maybe I forgot, or a rain or cold spell knocked them down unexpectedly early but, for five years, I didn’t make it to the city in time to see them before we moved away. The cherry blossoms…

Hahahahaha! I grew up watching the reruns of Leave it to Beaver. I thought the Beaver was adorable and Wally was dreamy. Even as a kid, I knew that Eddie Haskell was a suck up and an asshole. I remember the show being wholesome and funny. It was. It is. Through the years, I’ve always…

I dropped a Nature Valley Oats ‘n Honey bar this morning. I am STILL sweeping up granola shrapnel.

It’s been 10 days since I had my last Pepsi. The first week week was hard but, let me tell you, Day 8 was the toughest so far. The last bottle of Pepsi is in the fridge, half gone from my last indulgence of the liquid ambrosia. On Day 8, I seriously considered chugging the…

I just ate a sandwich, peeling off all of the edges because I’m a toddler. When done, I tipped my plate towards the garbage can, then dropped the plate into a pan of water in one swift motion. As soon as I released the plate, I watched two remaining bread strips as they instantly puffed…

It is no secret that I hate running. In fact, I’m sure some of you are already tired of hearing it but it’s important to this story. It’s getting easier to run now that I’ve been forcing myself these past few weeks. I groggily wake up to the alarm at 6:15 am or to my…

Our hamster, Kibble —Kibbles and Bits when she was in trouble. She was was tiny, soft, and hated us immensely. She didn’t like being held and would spend every moment trying to escape our grasp. She had an adventure recently, when she got out of the cage a freely roamed the room for a day…

When I was in my 20s we went to the bars to dance and drink. We went almost every weekend and we had our favorite places. We were VIP members at one and could skip the lines. Studying Psychology, I one day wondered if I was an alcoholic. Everything you read on alcoholism says that,…

Every damn time I step on the treadmill or run a 5K:

I know I keep shitting on myself lately. That’s what happens when your self-esteem takes a hit. Here’s the thing, I’m taking steps to improve myself and my attitude. Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha! No, seriously. I organized my clothes, donated two huge bags to charity, and bought some new ones to freshen up my wardrobe. Everything I buy…

My husband does not have a gut. He has never had a gut. He runs and works out regularly. Still, he will loudly announce that he is going to work out because he doesn’t want a beer belly. Again, he DOESN’T HAVE A GUT! As I kick myself in the ass and lament my potbelly,…

Some days I’m super motivated. I get out of bed early and drag my lumpy ass down to the gym and force myself to workout. I’ve started to eat my meals without the extra salt I used to put on without even tasting the food first. Blah. I’ve reduced my sugar. BLAH! I went from…