It’s hard enough buying a bathing suit, but add the insecurities I am currently experiencing, and it was torture! There are mainly two types of bathing suits in stock right now with very few in between.

There are the tiny, cute suits clearly meant for the svelte, smooth bodies of goddesses. They may have ruffles or bows and adorable, colorful patterns. Some even have cute buttons or accessories. They are definitely cut into sexy shapes and afford the tanning of as much skin as possible barring arrest for public indecency.

Then, there are the granny suits. Heavy, flowing suits with yards of material and thick foam domes tucked into the brassiere. The designs are limited to solids or bright, garish tropical prints. The skirts are long and I imagine they reach the ankles when weighted down with water. Tummy “control” just means the suit is tight enough to hold the torso in a taut tubular shape similar to a sausage casing.

Tucked in the racks, I pulled out a compromise:

I found a two piece tankini with a less garish print/colors and no boob padding.

Excuse me while I get my ass on the treadmill.

Wish me luck.