I just ate a sandwich, peeling off all of the edges because I’m a toddler. When done, I tipped my plate towards the garbage can, then dropped the plate into a pan of water in one swift motion. As soon as I released the plate, I watched two remaining bread strips as they instantly puffed up with absorbed water. I reached in with two fingers and grabbed the dripping mush and plopped them into the trash.

Excuse me while I amputate my hand.