It was 1985 and my senior year of high school. Ever since I had seen Purple Rain for the first time the year before, and at least six more times after that, I knew I wanted to perform Apollonia 6’s act in our school’s Senior Variety Show. I convinced two friends and we practiced the act until we ached.

Weirdly, each of us had the personality that each of the singers personified in their act. I played Susan and, like her, was incredibly naive and a follower. Our lead, playing Apollonia, was confident in her sexuality but a bossy perfectionist who drilled us over and over. My friend, playing Brenda, the tough girl, got grounded by her parents the week of the show and we almost had to pull out.

We worked hard on the costumes, trying to make them as authentic as possible without getting arrested for indecency. Yes, it was 1985 and lord knows fashion pushed the limits, to say the least, but we were still in dusty Tucson, AZ. We added mini skirts for modesty, which is laughable when the pelvis thrusts and lyrics are considered.

As a reminder, here are the lyrics to which we, 17 year old high school students, lip synced and gyrated, while occasionally pointing down at our pelvises:

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Sex Shooter

Apollonia 6

I need you to get me off

I’m your bomb, baby, ready to explode

I need you to get me off

Be your slave, do anything I’m told

I’m a sex shooter

Shootin’ love in your direction

I’m a sex shooter

Come and play with my affection

I need you to pull my trigger, baby

I can’t do it alone

I need you to be my main thing

Plaything, pillar of stone

Ooh, hoo

I’m a sex shooter

Shootin’ love in your direction

I’m a sex shooter

Come and play with my affection

Come on, kiss the gun

Whoa, whoa… [Repeat: x4]

Come on, kiss the gun

Guaranteed for fun

Sex shooter

Shootin’ love in your direction

Oh, I’m a sex shooter

Come and play with my affection

Listen boys…

No girl’s body can compete with mine

No girl’s rap can top my lines

No girl’s kiss can ring your chimes

Come on boy, let’s make some time

I’m a sex shooter

Shootin’ love in your direction, oh yeah

I’m a sex shooter

Come and play with my affection

Everybody sing it

Sex shooter

Shootin’ love in your direction

(I can’t hear you!)

Sex shooter

Come and play with my affection

All the nasty people sing it

Sex shooter

Shootin’ love in your direction (Oh baby, everybody

Sex shooter

Come and play with my affection

Songwriters: PRINCE ROGERS NELSON

© Universal Music Publishing Group

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Looking back, I’m astonished the school allowed our risqué act. I know that would NOT be allowed in this day and age. I’m guessing no one of authority was paying any mind to what we were doing or just didn’t care.

I am eternally grateful that there is no known video footage of our lip sync act and even more grateful that cell phones were not a thing in 1985. We performed twice at the school and then a few more times in lip sync contests around town. No, there is no video but if you happen to watch or remember Purple Rain and Apollonia 6’s act, that is exactly what we did.

It was a blast and I’ve never regretted it but, good god, I’m retroactively mortified.