I just binged on a show where the husband dies and the grieving widow comes to find that the husband had been cheating on her for the last year of their marriage. The marriage wasn’t perfect but she definitely had no idea anything was going on. The writers included flashbacks that re-visited scenes we’d already seen. Even though the scenes were exactly the same, the new information changed the meaning of everything.

That got me thinking …

Our history seems to be set in stone but, in reality, it is as shifting as the sands of time. Our memories are made of concrete — until they aren’t. Just one piece of information can be added or changed and the solid foundation you thought was invincible wobbles as the bricks recalibrate to hold the weight of this new variable.

One infinitesimal detail can change the whole meaning of a conversation you thought you knew by heart. Suddenly, the whole world becomes blurred and the brain races to catch up with the new reality. Even a smile, a look, or a touch can take on a different meaning from what you may have thought or felt it meant before.

Like ghost movies where the viewer is tricked and finds that the person was actually dead the whole time, a shift in our reality paradigm can have the exact same effect. A look back at a conversation and suddenly you see that the answers weren’t what you thought they were and, really, things were happening around you, not to you.

The memory shifts to match the new reality and, as you reach out your hand to capture it, you see that your fingertips are fading. You scream as you feel yourself pulled from the altered memory and find that none of the actors in the scene can hear you, much less see you. The scene doesn’t change, only you do.

Maybe that’s why it’s so hard to have those “Hey, remember that time….” conversations. One person can laugh uproariously while the other person struggles to grasp what was so goddamn funny. A memory can be life changing to one person and the other doesn’t even remember it.

Everyone has their own information, their own version of reality and no two are actually the same. Even more terrifying, our very own version of reality doesn’t even stay the same and can change at any moment.