I had an older cousin from my dad’s side who I idolized throughout my childhood. I didn’t see her much but relished the times we were up in Northern California to visit. Simply put —I adored her laughter and vitality. She was a hoot! Alas, she was closer to my siblings’ ages so I was relegated to a whole lot of jealously watching from the sidelines.

When I was 10 or 11, she had a baby at a very young age, making the chasm between us even wider. I was still awestruck by her popularity and zestful exuberance but I found myself staring at her and this tiny baby girl in confusion. The baby made her a mother, of course; but, more inexplicably, I concluded that she was an adult in a way that was unimaginable to me. I know now, she was still just the same young woman but with a baby. She seemed a little more scary to me but her sparkle and outrageous humor did not diminish in the least while she cared for her new daughter so I soon found myself relaxing and reverted back to watching her every move.

While lying in her bed with the baby between us, the baby was staring adoringly at her mom when she suddenly whipped her head around to me. She smiled widely at me while I simply looked back at her blankly. Her smile dimmed.

“Smile at her!” my cousin admonished.

I quickly rearranged my face into an awkward smile and shared a moment with the baby girl as her expression changed from slightly befuddled to one filled with a joy so pure that it reached her eyes.

Amidst the shame that creeped from my brain to my extremities was an epiphany that I’ve carried for four decades. In an instant, those three words and the baby’s changing expressions taught me how important it is to show love and kindness to a baby at every turn. Babies look to every single face they encounter with wonder and fascination. Since that day, I smile at each baby with whom I lock eyes. Sometimes I get nothing, but sometimes the grin I get back is worth a thousand times more than the fraction of a moment it took to earn it.

I lost touch with my bubbly cousin a long time ago but recently connected with that baby girl on Facebook. She is a magnificently beautiful woman, wife, and mother of three. She has made it her goal to motivate women to find the best in themselves. I looked through her pictures and did not spot a single one where she is not smiling. My mind swaps her adult face for the adorable baby face I remember so vividly; and, while she has made it her mission to teach others, I smile at the face that has already taught me.