Throwback memory:

Utah had been tough. Utah had been unkind. Utah, despite its majestic mountains and beautiful winters, reeked of discrimination. While I did make some friends in Utah, I spent most of my time battling preconceived notions and mindsets until I gave up and found myself in a state of steady anger. I was a time bomb and I knew it so I found it best for everyone if I withdrew and simmered from afar. This was a necessary skill for not only for my own survival but for theirs as well.

Approaching 3 and 1/2 years immersed in hostile territory, I dreaded my son entering kindergarten where I know for an absolute fact that he would be treated differently and poorly. A protective mother, I knew I was headed for a confrontation of some sorts if I had to send my child to school there.

We got transferred to Arizona and this moved saved many lives. As with all moves, it promised a new beginning in a new home.

Not long after settling, it was a bright and hopeful day when I climbed atop the refrigerator to add several heavy, potted plants on top of the highest cabinets. I was precariously perched and recklessly balanced when I heard a knock on the door. I wasn’t moving and really couldn’t even if I wanted to so I let my spouse answer the door. I couldn’t see but heard the well-rehearsed scripted intro of the LDS missionaries and I knew without seeing that there were two (there are always two) young men wearing white short-sleeved dress shirts with black ties and black name tags.

I felt the rage bubble up and knew this was a confrontation long overdue. I scurried to climb down as fast as I could manage in order to confront the unwelcome intruders. Reading my mind, I heard my husband squeak out some lame excuse for getting rid of them quickly. I jumped from the counter, skidded around several corners, and ran to the door as my husband shut it with a satisfied smile and swiftly stepped in front of my trajectory. I’m not sure what I was going to say but I’m positive it wasn’t going to be kind. I was both pissed and grateful my husband knew enough to stop me.