I woke up befuddled one cold, wet morning. Issues clouded my mind and made me anxious to shrink and disappear. I tried to sleep while remaining lucidly awake and aware throughout the night. I awoke with a clarity and dread, knowing that my subconscious had made a decision it had not quite explained to my consciousness.

We dressed and walked over to the cafe at the end of the cul-de-sac. I battled my thoughts and tried to fix my disloyal face while placing my order with the friendly server. She checked on us frequently and her unexpected arrivals caught my inner turmoil surfacing in the lines of my face. Finally, I confessed to her that my day was shitty but the food was great. “May as well own it” I told my husband after she walked away.

When the check came, we found that she had severely undercharged us. I waved at her with the check held up and she just smiled and told me to have a better day. It was a simple statement and gesture that caused my throat to lock up and warm tears filled my eyes instantaneously. I held my hand to my heart and silently mouthed “thank you”. We tipped her the difference and felt grateful for the human connection.

My husband and I walked the short distance to say goodbye to the ocean. We knew without many words it was time to go home. Like Scarlett O’Hara who gets her strength from the red dirt of Georgia, I find solace in being with my things, my routine, my solitude.

Life takes its own route no matter how hard you try to direct it. Sometimes it is worth it to stop the struggle no matter how selfless your intentions may be. There is a weird kind of peace that accompanies the decision. Until that moment arrives the mind is a storm of electricity and thunderous noise. Like a hurricane, there is the calm eye of the storm.

I am grateful for the server who silenced my mind for a brief moment – for 5 seconds the world stopped long enough to remind me that there is kindness and there is peace out there, even if it means walking in a new direction.