I hate football. I hate everything about football. Except for the delicious food my husband serves during the Super Bowl, there is absolutely nothing I give a rat’s ass about in regards to the game. That said, I had to pretend I was interested for months in order to gather information I needed to plan…

I’ve been researching and planning my spouse’s FBI retirement/50th birthday/25th anniversary present for about two years. I knew it was going to be Dallas Cowboys related but, until January, I wasn’t definitively sure in what way. I was hoping to send his ass to an adult Cowboys training camp but they don’t offer one. Finally,…

I recently joined Rover.com so I could walk dogs and get some doggy love without the heartbreaking commitment of owning (and losing) a dog. An option of the services offered is being available for dog-sitting or doggie daycare, where the dog stays in your home rather than you going to pick them up for quick…

I have never run a more stressful 5K in my life! 20 woke up early and was raring to go and, I’ll be honest, I panicked a bit at her obvious motivation so I jumped out of bed, chugged a protein drink, and dressed for battle. As the group of runners clustered and waited for…

Two days this week, my husband has gently but firmly placed his hand on my shoulder to wake me up at 5:50 am. No, I did not kill him as is my first instinct at being roused before 6 am. His life was spared because my need to NOT be humiliated on Saturday is much…

In the days leading to the big 5K on Saturday, here is a summary of our scuffles so far. 20 caught a cold and has a stuffy nose so we gave her meds. Being sick did not stop her from talking all kinds of shit though. She is determined to beat me even if she…

I was walking down the street feeling blue. I’m not sure why I was feeling morose or maybe I’m absolutely positive as to the reason but it doesn’t matter in this telling. Scene: It was bright and sunny but I was wasn’t feeling it. I had errands to do and my mind was in shattered…

We went for an early morning run around the Tidal Basin. It is truly one of my favorite places to run. There must have been some recent flooding because there was stretch of path that was completely covered in wet, silt-smooth mud. There were many squishy footprints left by the people who decided to push…

It goes against all motherly instinct to want to crush your child; yet — here we are. I want to crush to my child. I want to destroy her, obliterate her! I would die for her. I would literally take a bullet or sacrifice my last breath for her but that little jackass has ignited…

Getting ready to binge all of the Season 3 episodes of The Handmaid’s Tale, I decided to introduce my husband to the series and invited him to watch with me starting at the beginning. He said he’d give a couple of episodes so see if it was able to capture his attention. The biggest surprise…

My daughter was working at the AMC Theater when the movie, Bohemian Rhapsody, was released. Because she sometimes had to clean the theater, she caught the ending of the movie more times than she can count. After seeing the movie, she came home talking about it. My husband, ever eager to reinforce the music war…

I despise this coping mechanism. In the middle of any crisis, small or large, someone will invariably tell you that things could be worse. Hell, I’ve used it myself, I know. It is meant to bring comfort and sometimes it does but mostly, it fucking doesn’t. Of course things could be worse. Absolutely everything, short…