Talking to my dad, I mentioned an upcoming trip to Omaha. Him: And, [my daughter]?! Are you leaving her alone?! Me: Ummm, she’s going to be 21 years old in a few months, so… yeah, I’m leaving her alone. 🤨

The instructions I was given prior to my colonoscopy specifically said that the liquid prep was the hardest, but most important, part of colonoscopy prep. That was not a lie. I started the disgusting Suprep required before a colonoscopy. Disgusting is not an adequate adjective. There is an added a cherry flavor which is more…

I rode this bitch today: It is called the Prone Leg Curl, works the hamstrings, and, like the picture depicts, involves laying prone on the pads with your legs engaged. The legs start straight, bend upwards towards the butt, then back to the start. I put the pin in the 50 pound weight but could…

If you’re new here: I hate working out. Still, I joined the gym and have been going 4 times a week for a few weeks now. My thighs, abs, and ass hurt just thinking about them so, you know … progress! I walk in there with my big over-the-ears headphones and force myself to sit…

I bought last minute tickets to attend the Rolling Stones concert with my daughter. It was butt hot but we got some pretty good seats so it was worth the sweat and discomfort. The old guys put on a really good show and I’m glad we can say we saw them. Mick Jagger looks all…

Apparently, my last blahg did not adequately describe the pain and humiliation of the first (and last) Zumba class for my sadistic readers. I joined the gym and received a complimentary recommended training schedule that includes: 2 strength training days, 2 rest days, 2 cardio days, and 1 run day. For the cardio days, it…

I went to my first Zumba class yesterday. After less than 1 minute, I walked the fuck out. That was my last Zumba class. That is all.

My nana lived with her partner, Pete. He was not my grandfather but he fit the shoes. He was very kind to me and I have only good memories of him. I spent a majority of my childhood with my nana and Pete. I practically lived with them as I attended the nearby Davis Elementary…

I joined the gym to weight train; hopefully, without becoming a gym asshole. You know the type of which I speak. It’s a wide demographic — from men to women, young and old, fit and not. Mainly, though, they are young, fit men and they put the mirrors to good use while they sweat and…

Motivation is a strange thing. It is very personal and what works for one person doesn’t necessarily for the other. Interestingly, I find that motivation is interwoven with emotion. One can be motivated by love just as easily as hate or happiness as well as grief. Rage and revenge are excellent motivators — for me,…

My last few blahgs have been a little dark — dark enough that I got at least a couple of welfare calls to see how I was doing. I was merely taking advantage of my artistic license, being overly dramatic, I guess. I’m #FINE, by the way. Tonight I write about something that makes me…

“You are one of the strongest people I know.” A friend said this to me yesterday and, like a Phoenix from the ashes, I rose to accept the compliment that didn’t feel entirely true in the moment. There are a million types of strength so I’m not sure in which way her comment applied to…