My husband does not have a gut. He has never had a gut. He runs and works out regularly. Still, he will loudly announce that he is going to work out because he doesn’t want a beer belly. Again, he DOESN’T HAVE A GUT!

As I kick myself in the ass and lament my potbelly, I suddenly realize — THAT MOFO WAS ALLUDING TO ME!

There’ll be some fightin’ tonight but excuse me while I do some sit-ups first!