I have always wanted to learn how to play the piano. Always.

When I was about 33 years old, I got my hands on a secondhand piano that was huge, heavy, and smelled terrible due to wood moisture, most likely. I never touched it but it looked fabulous in my living room until we got rid of it before our next move.

When I was about 38 years old, I bought a beautiful Yamaha upright piano for my daughter’s lessons. I never so much as plunked a note but watched my daughter take her weekly lessons until she inevitably rebelled. Since then, I have dragged that piano from house, to house, to house, to condo, to house.

At 52 years old, I am well aware that I have pissed away decades of valuable time that could have been used to learn to play. I have no valid excuse for my procrastination except that I was too afraid to try something so new and foreign and; probably, hard as hell. I can always fall back to the “I was busy raising my family” but even as I type this, I know that’s bullshit. There always a way to find an hour or two in a week. Also, always afraid of failure, I didn’t want to put myself out there.

I didn’t listen my own best advice my kids heard throughout their lives: If you don’t try, you’ve already failed.

During her Spring Break, my daughter, despite years without lessons, can still read music and play tunes from Harry Potter and beautiful improv melodies. My son, in England, recently bought a keyboard to teach himself how to play. He took violin lessons as a kid until he, too, rebelled. This gives him a head start in the game because he can read music and sends me videos of himself playing songs that already sound like songs!

Oh, how I wasted my years! I am furious with myself.

As I sit here during this unprecedented Coronavirus quarantine, wearing 2 day old pajamas and red lipstick, I have taken a bold step. I just ordered the lifetime membership to Playground Sessions, the piano learning app created by Quincy Jones.

That’s right — the LIFETIME membership so I’m less likely to dick around. Like my daughter always says “Go big or go home!” Time to commit and see if Harry Connick Jr. can teach this old crone a new trick.

Stay tuned…