My paternal nana had a short-haired chihuahua named Taco. He was a yippy little thing, always hyped up and skittish. My dad was sitting at the table of her tiny kitchen with the chair turned sideways so he could stretch out his legs, crossing them at the ankles. My nana was fluttering about, probably making…

For the first fucking time in my 51 years, 3 months, 5 days of existence, I am facing having to diet and I don’t like it one bit. I am lucky that I’ve always been underweight or thin so I have absolutely no idea how to watch what I eat or even what my ideal…

My superpower is the ability to ignore you so hard you’ll doubt your own existence.

The pantry cabinets in the home I grew up in were stupidly deep. I had emptied out all of the cans, bottles and boxes to wipe the shelves. Almost like crawling into a tunnel, I had climbed onto a chair and was bent over, half in-half out, reaching into the back with the rag when…

My children have always just followed me around like little ducklings. This is especially true about airports, where they just blindly followed and copied everything their dad and I were doing. I’m positive they didn’t give the process any thought. During one trip, I realized that our parental guidance had been severely lacking in this…

The dental hygienist told me that I have the cleanest mouth she has seen today!

It’s a surprise to absolutely no one who knows me that I hate running. I don’t like doing a 5K but I like having done a 5K. I don’t get the adrenaline rush until about 27 minutes after the race is over so it does me no good whatsoever. Here are some of my most…

Living in a condo has been an adjustment, to say the least, and the list of differences between condo and single home living goes on and on. Right now, I’m most bothered by hearing my neighbors have sex. Thank goodness, we don’t hear anything vocal but we can certainly pinpoint the apex of their act…

Always check the box before putting your pasta in the oven to keep warm:

To the poor lady who had to listen to 12 year old me (give or take) perform the whole Evita soundtrack non-stop, from beginning to end while on a train from Mexico to Nogales: I am sooo sorry. You were a good sport and I want to die of embarrassment just thinking about it.

Every few days or about once a week, this Irish flag pops up in my blahg stats: This means that one person in all of Ireland has read my blahg(s) on that day. The statistical probability that each instance is a different single person in Ireland reading my blahg is astronomical so I’m going to…

People who blow their noses in restaurants should be eternally grateful that I do not possess the targeting system to track the offenders with a three-pointed laser sight arranged in a triangular formation to increase accuracy for a shoulder mounted weapon which fires armor-penetrating plasma bolts like the Predator. [Actual footage of my inner thoughts…